In readings, people often ask questions like, “Why can’t I find someone to be in a relationship?”, “Why am I always suffering?”, or “Why don’t I ever have enough… time, money, love, (fill in the blank)?” It is very interesting that people are very clear what they are lacking, but that when I inquire what they do want, they often reply, “I have no idea or I don’t know.”
To get more of what you want and less of what you don’t want is a two-part process.
The first part of the process is to take the time to think about what you do want in this lifetime. If you’re not sure, then see what does feels right in your gut or heart in this present moment, and lean in that direction. Leaning in the direction of your potential goal or desire will give you more information if this is your true path or not.
The second part of the process is to you must believe you can and are worthy to have your desires. It may sound too simple, but it’s more than that. If you don’t feel like your enough, you will be emitting that energy and produce the results of what you don’t want. Everytime. If you have seen or read The Secret, then you are probably familiar with the Law of Attraction.
I had one client who was troubled because no one noticed her. She said it was because she was too simple looking. She wasn’t exotic enough. She didn’t have bigger boobs. She was short. I asked her to try an experiment and to place a post note anywhere and everywhere in her home, in her car, in her wallet, on the fridge that said, “You are beautiful.”
In addition to this, I said she had to work on not just the exterior beauty, but the interior as well. For a month, I told her to find the beauty in everyone she came in contact with. It didn’t matter what color, or size, or religion, or orientation the person was. It was important to find the beauty of each person’s being. I told her to find it. Notice it. Name it and to tell that individual about their own beauty, their own attractiveness.
After the first three days, she didn’t think she was getting anywhere. I told her to keep trying for the rest of the month, because she had nothing to lose and it wasn’t like I was going to break her “beautiful” arm! Days and weeks passed. She stayed with it. I was proud of her because she did find beauty in people, not just by their looks. She began to treat herself and her appearance with kindness and greater sense of gratitude. She didn’t change her physical appearance with a spray tan or a boob job, but she leaned into beauty and all its forms including her own.
Soon after this experience, she did find someone to notice her and she eventually began a long term relationship with him. The irony was he was almost too intimidated to ask her out because, “she was so beautiful.”
In reaching all your goals and desires, what must you to lean into?