Happy New Year.
Happy New to You.
Does this sound familiar?
I want to lose 60 pounds… Why did I eat those Fritos?
I want a to find someone and be in a loving relationship…Why did I just watch a season of Game of Thrones, Orange is the New Black and Saved By the Bell?
I want to buy my own home… Why did I just spend my savings at McDonalds and Starbucks?
I want to start and exercise program… Why do I want to take a nap?
I want to be an artist… Why was I on Facebook for 3 hours?
I want to start a new career…Why can’t I find my resume?
I want to clean my house and do my laundry. Nevermind.
No, I really don’t and don’t even ask me about when I’m taking down my real Christmas tree. I’ll unfriend you. Right after my Fritos.
It’s a new year and that’s awesome. But the reality is that the majority of people who create resolutions don’t keep them. If you make it past the first two weeks, you’re fighting the odds with resistance.
If you’re tired of fighting with yourself, and tired of fighting with resistance and all the negativity you blab to yourself, then here is something you can do right now to bring happiness and peace your way.
You have to be brave to do it because it’s not for wimps.
Here you go.
You must stop fighting.
Yep. That’s it.
Stop making resistance the bad guy.
Here’s how you do it.
First, ifor anything that you desire or want to change, there is going to be an unknown factor. You don’t know if it’s going to work out. You may feel stupid for going for it. It may cause discomfort. Maybe even gas. The point being… you don’t have 100% control of the future.
Resistance isn’t the bad guy. It just pops up to keep us where we deep down feel is safe. It’s trying really hard to be your BFF, not your enemy.
So here is how you can coexist with resistance.
First is to become aware that when resistance is happening you are fully present and being mindful of what is happening.
For example, if you are trying to lose weight and make healthy choices, by day 3 you might be over it. You might start ripping a bag of whatever salty badness you can devour. This is when it’s important to call out this resistance. Not that you are saying no to the chips, but that you are resisting making healthy choices.
Just call it out. “I’m tired of being good and I’m feeling the resistance of making better choices”.
Now will this prevent you from inhaling the bag? Perhaps. But what it does is give your brain a moment to catch up and recognize what is happening. You give yourself a chance to respond instead of react. And more times than not, even if you did eat the chips it would far less than if you didn’t create that mindfulness.
Know Your Bigger Why
Next, when you feel tempted to go against your goals, and you feel resistance creeping around, remember why it’s was so important to you and your life to create these goals is the first place. If you have a dream or a goal and a little resistance can kill it, then it wasn’t a dream. It was simply an idea or a wish. Your “why” must be strong enough to keep you moving everyday in some way to attain your goal even with the resistance wrestling with you every step.
For example, if you want to lose weight so you can brag that you can fit into a smaller pair of pants at Banana Republic, bring on the Fritos. Heck, bring the entire 24 variety pack sack. Your “why” will die. It wasn’t a big enough reason to move you to do whatever it takes to make it happen. Resistance will beat you up and eat your chips every time.
Now, if you want to lose weight so that you can travel the world, get married, have kids, see and play with your grandkids or even granddogs, that’s an even bigger why.
And an extra secret is to really reflect what will happen if you don’t get your “why”. If you don’t lose weight then you will die at early age. You will experience massive pain. You won’t get to create the experience and enjoy the happiness of all the things you love doing or dared to dream about.
Your “why” needs to be strong enough for you to help you coexist successfully with resistance and STILL move in the direction to discover and experience your happiness.
Gather Your VIP Peeps or Mentors
Lastly, if you want to attain all your dreams and goals while coexisting with resistance, you must also enlist others to help you or use their example to model their success. This is not a sign of weakness but of wisdom. You are wise enough to know what you want and who can support you. Even look for role models in books, videos and online. When resistance comes snuggling up to you, you won’t spend the time fighting with it because now you have people that will help you be accountable in going after your goal or dreams. And mentors in all forms to help you remember what is possible. They have made peace with their resistance and still kept the focus and persistence to create what they desire.
In this moment, when it comes to your life, this is it. We only have a relativity short time here. Don’t waste it fighting with resistance. Your dreams, goals and desires are worth fighting for to create a meaningful happy life. So don’t give up. Don’t resist. Now, I’m ready to put down my bag of Fritos and strip my tree. Namaste.
What goals and dreams are you ready to make really happen?