Are you a worrier?
I thought so. And I bet you’re really good at it.
I can worry about anything. I am completely professional at this. I worry about not having enough gas in my car. I worry about one of my 3 dogs eating Scooby Doo Legos. I worry about running out of toilet paper when I tinkle or worse. I worry about people not seeing the signs they are given by the universe or by loved ones who have passed. I worry about people leaving kids in their car during summer. I worry about people walking around the grocery store with large firearms and packs of cinnamon buns because “they can”. I worry about spending enough time with my family and friends. I worry about being in my head too much when I’m with those family and friends. With a cart full at Target, I worry if I’ve forgotten something. I worry about how easily I can gain weight just by looking at people eating while driving by Sonic. Damn those tater tots with cheese.
Those spinning wheels of worry.
What do we gain from worrying other than driving ourselves completely insane?
One reason we worry is that we believe that if we do then maybe whatever we fear won’t happen. The bad news won’t come. The job won’t go away. The bills will magically get paid. The relationship will work out. The car won’t run out of gas. The boogey man won’t know our address.
Another possibility is that when we worry, we also think that we are “working on it” by worrying about it. It’s the autopilot of disaster mindset. When we worry all we do is spin our wheels and our story into a ditch of despair and create more fear. Who wants to ride in that all day and night?
So, how do we stop the worrying wheel of misfortune? Let’s test-drive a few options.
- STEP ON YOUR BREAKS: DEFINE IT.
Define what you are worried about.
Many times we go through our day with a feeling of unease because we are unconscious of what is troubling us. All it takes is giving a few seconds to yourself to become mindful about what’s idling emotionally on the inside. Close your eyes (unless you are really driving, then wait until you are at a parking lot or by yourself). Take at least 3 deep breaths. The slower the better. Next, ask yourself, “What am I worrying about that’s taking over my happiness?” Be aware of the first thing that pops out because this is your primary source of worry and this is very, very important.
You may hear “I’m worried about…”
… my health
… my family
… if I should stay at this job
… my relationship
…never being happy
…paying the bills.
… being alone
You may get more than one idea. Stay with the first one. And work on that one first. This is essential so that that you don’t go into overwhelm and create more worry.
- STOP IDLING: KNOW YOUR PAYOFF
Once you know what is on your mind and creating stress in your life, become curious and ask yourself what if any benefits you have received from worry about this stressor.
If you can say truthfully, “nothing”, then go to step 3. If you realize that maybe you are getting a payoff by delaying taking action or it keeps you from worrying about other things. Acknowledge this. Don’t judge. Just realize that your brain is trying to protect you in that moment. But long term, there is a better option to drive off worry without it having lasting emotional and physical effects on your body and spirit.
- FULL PEDAL TO THE METAL. REALIZE AND MATERIALIZE.
The next step is to take action. But which one? Again ask yourself and trust that intuitive voice. What can one small action I can do to reduce or get rid of my worry that I can take right now?
Don’t worry if it’s the right step or not. All steps are movement to progress. This motion creates the emotion of satisfaction of moving forward. Progress creates happiness.
Action steps could include
-Walking a block
– Putting gas in the car before it goes to red
– Paying the bills
– Calling and scheduling an appointment
-Looking for leads or searching for a new job
– Sitting 5 mintues to calm your nerves
-Reaching out to a friend for company
– Start to Google the things you need for a will
After doing these 3 steps, keep doing them. Always. Anytime you feel that uncertainty rise in your day, continue making time for yourself and taking the steps to move in the direction of your desires, your ambitions, your love and your peace. You will have now entered the on ramp to the Freeway of Love. Namaste.