Happiness Alert: How to Unchain Your Heart

It’s time to love…yourself.

 

My life’s obsession is to help people find their passion, their path, and their purpose. When I work with individuals, the first things we deal with together are any challenges or roadblocks that they have encountered. Some of the first questions that I ask are, “Do you like yourself?” If they say yes, then I continue and, “Do you love yourself?” More times than not, they respond either “No,” or “I don’t know how to love myself.”

When we were born, there wasn’t a class or a book on “How to Love Yourself 101”. You may have had role models or caretakers, but they didn’t teach you this. At best, you may have witnessed people along the way that appeared to love themselves too much and appeared narcissistic. And you grew to realize that you didn’t want to be that person either.

As we grow up and face our daily challenges or a significant life crisis, a common element is needed to meet, rise and face these moments. This element is self-love. Before the eye roll begins and the wink-wink starts with the phrase of “self-love,” here is how to move in the direction to all that which you desire to experience in this lifetime. Here are Four Self Love Lessons to Unchain your Heart.

 

Self Love Lesson #1: LISTEN TO YOUR FEELINGS

If you get along with others well, you have developed your intuition and skill of tuning into others’ emotions and energy and responding accordingly. By taking a moment to spend time alone and reflecting on what you feel at this moment, you are attentive to yourself. This is love.

During big holiday seasons, check in with yourself. Do you feel stressed? Do you feel alone? Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you worry that others will feel sorry for you? Are you worried that others will not think or love you? Do you feel like you’re not enough?

 

Self Love Lesson #2 PRACTICE NON-JUDGEMENT AND COMPASSION TO YOUR FEELINGS.

 As human beings, we have feelings to help us navigate and protect us in our human experience. Our feelings are not right or wrong; they are simply just how our mind, body, and soul come together to make sense of this vast world and our experience in it. If you gave a baby or a puppy (if you’re not into screaming kids), a 1000 piece puzzle to solve and they got upset or chewed on it, would you yell at the toddler or kick the dog? For all practical purposes, let’s say, “NO.” If you wouldn’t do it to these two beings then why would you, do it to yourself? This may be new to you or maybe you don’t do it regularly because it feels strange. JUST DO IT.

When you are mindful and more patient and accepting of your feelings, your inner baby or inner puppy will feel the self-love.

  

Self Love Lesson #3 LISTEN TO THE INFORMATION AND TAKE ACTION

Feelings are information. Your sense of sadness, fear, and even love give you information. This understanding is only part of the puzzle. You must recognize this information and determine how you will use it. If you are feeling stressed because you are feeling lonely, remember this feeling. And then decide what action you can take to move in the direction of love. This could be a baby step. This could be a phone call, an email, or volunteering to help those around you. You may feel many feelings throughout the day, but if you don’t recognize them and don’t apply the information they are providing you in some form, you will continue to feel unsettled and overwhelmed.

 

Self Love Lesson# 4 CONNECT.

 The ability to connect is one of our greatest gifts as well as sometimes our biggest challenge. This connection of love helps you strengthen your core and allows you to love others and allow love to come to you. This connection can come in many forms. You can connect with the Universal Source of Love, nature, animals, friends, and family. Make a connection with others a daily practice. It is also important to be mindful and know that who you surround yourself with is who you become so make sure you connect with only the things, people, animals, and spirit that bring you the most love. If you connect with others that are bitter, judgmental, or snarky, this is the poison that you are giving your heart on a daily basis. This is not love, and you are sending a message that love is not what you deserve.

 These are just four of many lessons that can help you love yourself. When you do, the chains come off your heart, the shackles off your feet, the opportunities become abundant, and your personal path becomes enlightened. Now, love yourself. Namaste.

Happiness Alert: How to Rescue Yourself From Anything

 

911? What's your emergency?

911? What’s your emergency?

When I counsel individuals, I encounter many scenarios from people who are looking for guidance, direction, and the power to help them in their desires for abundance, love, peace and ultimately happiness.

 

The first part of my process is to listen intuitively to their stories of what is happening to them or what they perceive is happening to them. Many people habitually believe it is some external circumstance such as other people, age, looks, sex, race, education, money, health, or just a “doomed destiny” that is preventing them from happiness.

 

One of the first questions I ask is “In this situation, what part did you create or allow?”

 

Now, if their eyes widen and roll around searching all the quadrants of their brain like they are trying to remember if they left the car running, the iron on or if they are wearing pants, I know we need to pull out the oxygen mask.

 

Time is needed to breathe and pump more oxygen and mindfulness to stop the dizziness in their brain, and then analyze the situation from a different perspective.I remind them that to be in a powerful state, they need to understand that they are constantly in the process of creating or allowing.

 

I might ask, “If you walked up to a man and his wife and said, ‘Your wife is so ugly, she can make an onion cry,’ what would you think would happen to you?”

 

Most people respond with HBO images of physical brutality, bullets, and lots of bloodshed, or at the very minimum, missing teeth. With all their teeth and body parts firmly attached, I ask them, “In this situation, what part did you create or allow?”

 

Some people laugh nervously and others proudly, “Oh, I created that.”

 

Then I ask how they created their situation or allowed it to happen. The reason it’s important to take the time to be mindful of one’s current situation or circumstance is sometimes not as obvious as you would think, or sometimes it’s harder to swallow because you want to choke on the truth.

 

Sometimes we go through life as if we are in a deep sleep or coma, and we just keep doing the things that don’t work over and over again. Or worse, we don’t make any decision or take any action and let our inaction work as a respirator as we remain unconscious.

 

How do you know if you are in a coma by just letting things happen? Just take a moment to breathe and be mindful of the signs or indicators of your life as you would a heart monitor.

 

-You didn’t save money, and now you are strapped in an emergency.

 

-You didn’t take your dog, your kid, yourself into the doctor and now the condition is worse.

 

-You didn’t make time to try (take action) to meet people online or in person and it’s been ten years since you dated, but have managed to watch all the reruns from all your favorite shows since you were 12. I just loved “Saved By the Bell.”

 

-You didn’t think of an exit strategy from the job you hated, and now you’ve been laid off.

 

-You keep looking for a sign from a loved one who has passed that they loved you or that you’re on the right track, but you are too busy to see one.

 

-You lover gave you MILLION signs that they didn’t love you for years and now you are “too hurt” to love again.

 

-You know they weren’t going to pay you back, and you kept giving them your money.

 

-You didn’t want to go the extra mile or learn how to improve your business, and now, your intern or mentee is you, boss. And it doesn’t kill you that you were slacking. It’s killing you that they are ahead of you.

 

-You didn’t want to count calories or log your steps, and now you have gained weight, and your heart is working overtime.

 

If any of these tug at you, don’t have a heart attack. Just pull on your mindful mask, and after you realize what you have created or allowed, your next step is simple. Breathe. Just ask yourself, what one small step or action can you take today to help you breathe in the direction that you desire. Then TAKE ACTION. NOW. Then do it again. And again. One breath at a time. You may save a life. Your own. Namaste.

Happiness Alert: Watch Your Words of Worth

It's time say, "Yes" to wealth.

It’s time say, “Yes” to worth.

 

We live in a quick paced world of one-liners, sound bites, hearsay, snarky comments and LOL acronyms. How do these things affect our relationship with each other, the universe and our abundance? And how about ourselves?

 

As I begin to work on today’s blog, I clicked on my site and up popped a weight loss ad instead. I refreshed my page to see if I imagined things. I am reducing my caloric intake for my health, so hallucinations are possible. Reality mocked me. There was that freaky, hacky ad again.

 

Wishing I could maintain my Oprah-Chopra vibration in a heated techie-moment, I was intentional and SIMPLY. CHOSE. NOT. TO.

 

I decided to react to the Universe with a word.

 

“Poop.”

 

But I didn’t say poop.

 

It took a moment to shake the fertilizer off my mindfulness boots. I wasn’t in any grave danger. I had people to call and help me in a nano-second. And just like that they did, and everything was back to normal and even better. My site was backed up and improved. “Why did the stench have to linger?” I wondered.

 

How many times have you been forced to face change and you classified and doomed it and your universe before taking the next breath?

 

I noticed that when I was tense, my words became harsh to those around me, especially to those I love the most. I observed that I was holding my breath. I felt stifled at that moment. My eyes hardened, and so did my point of view. I could see only that rogue webpage that had pooped on my life. In the stink of it all, I reflected:

 

How often do we take a situation and keep focusing on how it messes up our life?

 

How quickly do you react to pictures or words on the Internet or Facebook?

 

How quickly do you react to words of others?

 

More importantly, how can you stop it, redirect it, or at the very least, minimize its stink on us? I kept hearing the words repeated over and over “words, words, words.”

 

Then it came to me as naturally as gas.

 

Our words create our intention.

 

Our words create our actions or reactions.

 

Our words create our patterns and our possibilities.

 

So, if we can change our words, we can change our possibilities and the wealth and worth of our wellbeing.

 

Here’s how to chose your Words of Worth to overpower the stench of stress:

 

Step 1. Ask

Ask yourself, “Am I in danger?” If you are, get immediate help. If you aren’t and it’s more mental in nature, remind yourself that you are safe and protected in this moment. Now, it may feel strange at first, but the act of doing this will help calm your body and breathing. You can make better decisions in this moment and take better actions in this state.

 

Step 2. Believe

Ask, “What is the perfect outcome that would help me in this moment?” Many times people will become rattled because they know where or what they don’t want in their lives, but they have NO IDEA what they really want. Create the intention, the action, and the possibility. Fill in the blank. “My intention is to ______________________ and to take action by _________________ to create the possibility of _____________________________.” Great. Keep going.

 

Step 3. Consider, Change and Create Consistently

Be mindful of the words and phrases you use every day. Are they helping you or hurting you? Are they creating chaos or calm? Even sarcastic words are words wrapped in humor to disguise fear. What words would you be willing to change? Change them.

 

If you can’t handle it or think you need to go back to your old sarcastic self, you can. But isn’t worth a try to go 24 hours and speak with peace and intention? Now imagine you doing that every single day. How do you visualize your life now?

 

We are simply walking words and intentions. Become your own dictionary and define what you intend to bring to your life. If you don’t, you unconsciously let life define you, and that can truly stink.

Peace to you. Namaste.

Happiness Alert: Responding or Reacting?

Are you reacting or responding in the pursuit of happiness?

Are you reacting or responding in the pursuit of happiness?

 

How are you today? Are you awake? Are you at peace? Are you excited? Do you have something to look forward to during the day? Or are you already sick, baked, cooked, burnt, deep-fried?

 

How you wake up in the morning each day is a very good indicator of not just how you feel but also your modus operandi of how you interact with your life. When you’re sick, you go to your doctor and he gives you medicine to help you. If the medicine doesn’t work and you feel worse taking it, he may notify you that you are having a negative “reaction” to your medicine.

 

If the medicine does work, he may tell you that you are “responding well” to the medicine. You get better and set off in pursuit of happiness and well-being.

 

Say you are on your way to work and someone who is unconscious and in a hurry cuts you off. You slam on your brakes and scream, “Unconscious person, you almost ended my life or worse, wrecked my car and new iPhone 7”. Except you didn’t say, “unconscious person” you said, “@#@$%#$@#@#@@ and @#!!%#$!@!!@ and furthermore @@$%@$@!”

 

Now you may have reacted fearfully and angrily. It’s normal response. But you finally get to work. Here is exactly where you can see whether you are in pursuit of happiness or not. You may get to work and be thankful that you’re alive. The bad coffee at work may taste like Starbucks. You may enjoy seeing your co-workers faces one more time.

 

But if you are still upset and angry after the incident has happened and you are still carrying around “@#@$%#$@#@#@@ and @#!!%#$!@!!@ and furthermore @@$%@$@!” and “why does this have to happen to me today?” you are still reacting away from the pursuit of happiness.

 

This reactive energy will emit from you onto others since we are all energy beings. In other words you are in a bad foul mood and cause other to react and become unconscious and react to others and so on. It’s a virus. No one likes a virus. Only a dead one.

 

If you begin to practice responding to the challenges in life, this will help you stay in the present moment and not keep dragging the past into a dreadful future. Responding is a healthy choice on your physical being. You produce less toxic chemicals than if you are reacting. This is a good thing.

 

There are many challenges that we face each and every moment. LIKE RIGHT NOW. You know personally and exactly where you are. But if you can take a breath during challenges, ask yourself, “Instead of reacting to this moment, how can I respond and move with it successfully?” If that’s too long and complicated for you, ask yourself, “How can I respond in patience, or tolerance, or freaking radical kindness, or compassion or love?”

 

Simply asking yourself these questions, you help snap yourself into the present moment. By not living in the painful past or fearful future, you will be more at peace. You will live in your truth, courage and ultimately happiness. Namaste.

Happiness Alert: Change your story. Change your life.

Ready for a new chapter? Now would be good.

Ready for a new chapter? Now would be good.

Once Upon a Time…

 Once Upon a Time creates such a large collection of memories for most of us. Once Upon a Time there was a princess, a prince, three bears or a galaxy far away. Once Upon a Time in a Galaxy closer to you, you were younger, you had more money, you had potential, and you had more time. Back then your possibilities were endless, and you were invincible, and maybe back then, Once Upon a Time, Fritos were also acceptable as one of the main food groups, acid jeans were fashionable and so were suspenders.

 

Your Once Upon a Time story is important to understand where you came from and learn the lessons your history has taught you. However, it is equally important to know how you visualize, experience, and frame your story and how you are writing and creating your present moment.

 

Many of us are so inundated with stimuli on a daily basis – emails, work, obligations, lists, deadlines, and fears – that we simply can’t keep up. We use our Once Upon a Time story to numb our thinking, so we don’t have to deal with life and everything in it… We use softeners to make our life story seem less tragic.

 

Do any of these strike a chord?

 

We never have enough money.

We can’t afford it.

I can’t lose weight… I’ve tried everything

I guess I was meant to be alone and I’m okay with that.

That’s just how my life works.

I didn’t really want the job.

I don’t need to write the book or blog or movie.

Life is just hard.

That’s how things work.

I always seem to attract those people…

 

What if Once Upon a Time you could have a life you love and are grateful for? What if you could have that life right now? Would you take it? Or would you continue to write the story of why you can’t have it?

 

Here’s a different version of your story of how you can have it now. It is a two-fold process.

 

Step one: Stop settling for less than you want. Life is meant for you to grow and become more. This means you must take 100% responsibility of ALL of your decisions. Stop saying and believing that “you don’t know,” or “it’s not important” or that “you don’t care.”

 

Step two: Be Mindful of the present moment and be grateful.

The past is just that… the past. And the future isn’t here yet. So, the only logical and most important thing you can do in the story of your life is to live in the moment that is right smack in front of you.

 

What do you observe about this moment? Are you fighting or flowing in this moment? Are you creating the life that you want at this moment by being clear about what you want and leaning in that direction? Or are you engaging in things that are simply distractions that fill the time but don’t fill your soul?

 

And while there isn’t any “wrong direction” on your path, it’s vital to be conscious of what you are choosing because this impacts your experience of this moment.

 

How do you become grateful for the moment you have? By simply realizing that today, some people will experience their last one. Contrast is an amazing tool.

 

So today, despite your Once Upon a Time stories that you have read to yourself for years, change your story and timeline to the present moment. At this moment, anything is always possible. You are the main character and catalyst of the story, and by taking full responsibility for your life decisions and choices, being mindful and grateful of this moment, you can too live Happily Ever After.

Happiness Alert: Standing Strong During Tough Times

Stand Strong.

Stand Strong.

Rain. Elections. Ebola. Storms with golf ball size hail. Power out for days. Waiting for the check to arrive. Being relocated. Stalking someone on Facebook because he hasn’t called. Car demolished by a large tree. Polishing off three bags of Munchos, Fritos, and Doritos.
No one said life was easy. But here are three ways to stand strong when you want to bury yourself in the heaviness of it all.
1. Be Present
The first step to standing strong in what seems to be the horror movie of your life is not to relive the event that just happened nor forecast continued doom. When you are in a highly stressed state and a low vibrational level (AKA fear), you don’t think objectively. It’s like your brain is driving on a half-dozen cortisol margaritas. Acknowledge that the past has happened and that the future is not here yet. Focus on what is going on right now. For instance. If a large tree has decided to embed itself in your car during a storm, then acknowledge that this has occurred. Stop and be mindful of your state. Slow down. Sit down if necessary. Check in with yourself and ask, “What small step can I take now to bring me to more peace at this moment?” In stressful times while it may relieve some stress, sarcasm doesn’t help your brain. So ask yourself straight up with an actually helpful response. Your initial reaction may be to call someone. It may just be to eat or drink. It may just be to pray or to meditate. The importance is to acknowledge where you are at this moment.
2. Don’t Judge or Label the Moment
Next step is not to label the moment. In our speed of light life, it becomes a habit to label everything that comes our way because we have too much information to process on a daily basis. Saying that damn tree ruined my life, or he’s a bastard, or I’m a fat lard in yoga pants only causes the stress to last longer. Your ego needs drama to exist, and so it helps your brain lather it on. Thick. Don’t let it. Events are events. How you emotionally respond to them and label them creates the meaning good or bad. By keeping it neutral, your brain and body can attune to peace and possibilities.
3. Practice “Being Bigger”
No matter where you look, there are people all around that have challenges like you or greater than you. We all have them. But if you can get through the ones you have, you increase your superhero abilities. By standing strong and forging ahead, you now have new knowledge and super powers to help others that are going through the same things as you once did. Knowledge is power. Coupled with mindfulness, you are ready to stand strong to face all of life’s challenges and lessons one moment at a time. Namaste.

Happiness Alert: How to Outlast Overwhelm

Be brave.

Be brave.

“To be or not to be, that is the question.” How quick can you go from a quiet moment of peace to being in pure freak-out mode through overwhelm? For me, it’s one of my hidden talents, and maybe it is for you as well.

 

Visualize this. Your life is going rather swimmingly; then you find out you are having company coming over your house. You think… “Laundry not done. Dogs peeing in the house. House full of toys. Or worse.” Or perhaps somebody needs to copy a file from your computer, and you’re terrified they will drown in a desktop of random jpegs and word docs. Perhaps your anxiety grows when your coworker asks for a ride home, and you remember you’ve left your car decorated with empty Big Red cans, Doritos bags, and used Kleenex.

 

Or maybe it’s payday, and before it’s over, you run out of pay in your day. Maybe it is all those thousands of tiny things you know you need to do but haven’t because it’s too much of a pain in the rumpus. And you’d rather just leave it in the back of your mind floating around to bug you, especially when you have something crucial to do like planning for your retirement or saving for a house and so on…

 

Now, while it’s good to be in the moment of things, it isn’t helpful for our adrenaline system to fly by the seat of our pants. But most of us do this all the time, and we walk around tweaked and ready to react to the next thing life presents to immerse or drown us in.

 

Life doesn’t have to be lived in a state of overwhelm. We can outlast the stress and sensation of overwhelm in a heartbeat. Here are five steps to consider:

 

  1. Stay in your Body but Get out of Your Brain. 

Many times we can slip into overwhelm when we have too many things that we are trying to remember. By writing down what you need to do helps free up space in your brain and gives you a sense of peace because you are creating order. You don’t have to have a fancy planner or app on your iPhone. It can be on the back of a bar napkin. The goal is to write it down AND be able to find it later.

 

  1. Decide your “When” 

This next step is as equally important as creating a list. With the things you need to do, you decide when you are going to take action. This also helps you prioritize what is most important to you at this moment. Sure, you may need to clean up your house, but if you need to visit someone who is critically ill or take your pet to the vet, then prioritize your life according to what is most important to you at this moment.

 

  1. Making Mindful Mantras

Using mantra can be anything you think of such as, “This Shall Too will Pass,” “Peace In, Peace Out,” or even “Talk to Hand.” A mantra needs to take you out of your mind so try a few to see what resonates with you the loudest. This is important because overwhelm happens when you are fearful of the future. A mantra brings you back to the present moment. If a mantra isn’t your thing, then visualize something like a stop sign to help change your focus and get you out of fear.

 

  1. Simply Breathe. 

Breathe in for three seconds and exhale for three. Repeat this for three minutes. Bringing in oxygen will clear your head and provide calmness to help yourself. If the breathing doesn’t work for you then just put your hand on your chest and feel your breath this way.

 

  1. Connect with Your Source.

As beings that are human, we are connected to the Universe. How you define it and how you relate to it is your intimate personal path. Make time to connect with the Universe. Whether it’s through being in nature, prayer, meditation, or taking care of others, these all have the infinite ability to bring you peace that can outlast any moment of overwhelm.

 

William Shakespeare said, “We know what we are, know not what we may be.”

 

We may know that we are in overwhelm, but in a heartbeat, we can find our peace if we are brave enough to try. Be brave today. Namaste.

Want Happiness? Use The F Word.

F is for Forgiveness

F is for Forgiveness

The F word. No, not that one. The other one. Forgiveness.

 

When we think about the concept of forgiveness, it is a process that can leave us feeling sticky, itchy, or downright nauseous.

 

Whether we need to forgive another or ourselves, there always seems to be a resistance to do it. Just as if we ran out of gas. Angry thoughts race through our head as we are fuming on the side of the road.

 

I’m not ready to forgive. I’m still pissed. I’m still hurt. Maybe that idiot doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. I didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe they just deserve what they get. I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget.

 

When it comes to not forgiving people, including ourselves, our emotional and spiritual gas tank stays on empty and we get stuck in the past. We should have known better. We feel foolish. If we forgive too quickly then this might happen to us again. The F word transforms over time to Future Fear Failure Forever.

 

Then how do we fuel up to forgiveness? We try another F word… Faith. And we take the following steps.

 

  • Reflect on your anger, hurt, and pain. Simply take into account what has happened, but don’t live there.

 

  • Reflect on the fear it has caused and time it has taken up in your heart and soul space.

 

  • Actively accept any and all ownership of how you may have created this situation to occur. Take what is only yours. This is huge.

 

  • Forgive all parties including you.

 

  • MOVE ON immediately.

 

Did you do it? How do you feel? If you’re not sure at the moment, no worries.

Here is how you can do a quick scan to see if you have really forgiven. Your body is fantastic and wildly accurate about giving you clues. For starters, your body should feel lighter instantly. If it doesn’t, then sit down for a second and breathe. Ask yourself, “What else do I need to do to create forgiveness?”

This is where you can practice your intuition. If you notice your body is going stiff, then you haven’t moved past forgiveness. If you hear yourself say, “I forgive him but he’s still a freakin’ jerk!” you’re not done with this process. Ouch. I know. Just try again. You may need to try again a little later. Or a day later. The intention is to keep trying until you have truly moved on.

If you need help to move one, then reflect and visualize what will happen to you if you do not forgive that person or yourself, what are the long term consequences on your peace of mind, on your health, and on your bottom line. Lay it on thick. This uncomfortable feeling may start with the chest and start resonating through out the body. Fuel up the forgiveness process and try again.

The amazing thing about forgiveness is that you can become better at it the more you go through the process. You will create your own peace quicker and be able to live in the present moment instead of the furious or hurtful past.

Gandhi said, “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.” Fuel up for forgiveness and wear your bravery in love for others, including yourself. Namaste.

Happiness Alert: Knowing No

No is your friend.

No is your friend.

 

There are many things in life that it is easy to say “no” to.

For example, do you want to run out of gas on the highway? No.

Do you want to stay alone for the rest of your life? No.

Do you want your pants to fit tight-uncomfortably tight? No.

Do you want to stay at your crummy job? No.

Do you want to be eaten by a zombie? No.

Blindness? No. Lose a limb? No. Heart attack? No. No.

 

No.

 

But how many times have you said, “yes” when you meant to say “no”? And you only said yes to someone because you didn’t want them to disapprove of you, or to feel bad. Have you ever said “yes” because of guilt or because you were too lazy to say, “no”?

 

I get it.

 

I used to do it too. I used to be in a toxic relationship with “Yes”.

 

But there is a danger of saying yes when you want to say no.

 

Over time when we do something, again and again, we unconsciously create a habit, and it may be a bad one. And this habit grows stronger and more powerful every time we use it.

 

In this case, we are building the habit of not honoring ourselves. We put ourselves last. And while a dose of selflessness is a good trait to share in life, it is not good to go into a self-sacrificial mode when we truthfully don’t intend it. It contradicts the alignment of our soul and drains our life energy. Hear the loud sucking sound.

 

If that’s not bad enough, habits that are not congruent with our hearts can lead to other unconscious paths such as over-eating, -drinking, -shopping, not to mention depression, losing sleep or sleeping too much.

 

How can you change your yes habit and get to know “no”?

 

It can be very simple. Try this. You can do this anywhere.

 

Find a quiet space and take a deep breath. Close your eyes and think of the last time you said yes, but wanted to say, no. Think about why did you do that.

 

Next, reflect on what did that cost you by not honoring yourself and your feelings.   Be extremely mindful of the sensations you are creating in your body. If it is an uncomfortable feeling, sit with it. Hold steady and know it’s only temporary.

 

Lastly, breathe in again, place your hand on your heart and promise yourself, to speak your truth the next time you are asked. No matter how small.

 

Knowing “no” can bring you back to a place of happiness and peace. It’s bringing you back to you. And that’s something you can say “yes” to.

Namaste.

No Tears for Fears. The Art of Asking

dsc02253_2Don’t fear the tears. Just ask.

We are very interesting beings. When we were very young, we had the capacity to ask for anything we wanted. Our mother. A bottle. Wipe my boogers. Wipe my butt. More candy. I want a unicorn. When we didn’t get our needs met then we would pout, stomp, and cry and then continue on with our existence until our next desire started to burn within us.

 

We haven’t changed much. Hopefully, we have all mastered the art of wiping our assets.

 

What does change when we grow up is that we stop asking for what we need because we fear rejection. This rejection in our minds can lead us to many ideas that don’t serve us such as, “I shouldn’t have asked.” “I should be smarter than that.” “Now, I look stupid. I’m embarrassed. Why did I do that?”

 

It’s important to ask what you need or desire because this goes back to acknowledging your self, your spirit and your needs. By not asking for what you need, you are denying yourself and you are left with a lesser sense of yourself that can cause you great and unnecessary pain. So what to do?

 

ASK AND EXPECT TO RECEIVE.

If you are not accustomed to asking for things you need, then try very small. You may need a pen. Ask for one. You may need to borrow someone’s phone. Ask for it with the certainty that this other human will not only help you but will be thankful for that opportunity when you show your gratitude to their kindness.

 

MAKE ASKING A HABIT

Anything you put your attention to will grow. It’s simply that simple. If you exercise everyday, your body will change. If you save your money, your funds will grow. If you express yourself as love to the world, you will find your mate. This is true of asking. When you ask for assistance in the world, you will be able to receive it but even more importantly you will believe that it’s possible.

 

NEXT, ASK BIGGER.

After you have found the courage to ask for little things, then ramp it up. Ask for the attention. Ask for a ride to the party. Ask for the date. Ask for the business. Many times we are not fearful of someone telling us no. Rather it is the pain, loss or feeling of rejection that we attach to it. You will be amazed at what can manifest if you just ask. Use a personal mantra when you want to ask for something, such as No Risk. No Rewards.

 

There are many experiences you can have in this lifetime. Your job is to ask yourself what is calling your spirit and to take action. Even if the action is asking for a unicorn.

 

Now ask, receive, and then share. Namaste.