Happy New Year!
How do you get through holidays?
Did you do enough? Did you get enough? Many times we are in the frenzy of the season, we can’t even lift up our heads to enjoy the season much less ourselves.
and when it’s over we feel depleted again.
We start with new resolutions, new goals, we start comparing ourselves to each other thinking that
She lost weight faster than I did.
He has a better car than I have.
I wish I could go on vacation like that family.
She never has trouble getting dates.
Life is easier for him or her.
I wish I could keep my house clean… save money… look like them.
At the end of each thought and each day, we still feel like we are not enough.
So what can we do to stop this insanity, this mindless brain chatter that creeps up consistently?
We can simply shift.
The definition of shift means to move or cause to move from one place to another especially over a small distance” or “change the emphasis, direction or focus”.
So we can make small moves to change the focus of being not enough to enough.
Shift in Mind
The first shift is in our minds. By being mindful and creating awareness that we are creating judgment and comparison is huge. Many times, our brains ramp up into reaction mode. We react, judge, compare, and then feel the pangs of not being enough. For example, we may be going through our own inner turmoil about money. We see a friend, co-worker or family member who has money, and we are quick to judge that they have it easier and send a message both consciously and unconsciously to ourselves that we do not because we are not enough. If we were enough, then we wouldn’t be in this situation.
When you catch yourself comparing, simply notice it. Don’t beat yourself up about because it’s natural for your brain to do this to protect you. Simply remind yourself that this is simply a thought. Remind yourself, “Not my movie”. Your life is different and so is the movie of your life. By comparing yourself to others you are casting yourself in their movie and drama. And it’s not your movie. Trust me, everybody has their own battles to fight and if you really knew other people’s pain, you wouldn’t want to be in their movie much less buy a ticket to it.
Shift in Kind
The second shift is being kind to ourselves first, foremost, and always. It begins small and in little ways. For example, if you are trying not to drink so much coffee and you just poured yourself a third cup, remind yourself that this is your third cup and after this one, you’re going to do something different. This is a kinder option instead of berating yourself for forgetting.
If your house is filled with stuff and clutter and you don’t even know where to begin, then create a shift in kindness and remind yourself you have more enough in your house. By cleaning up, you can share what you don’t need with others or Goodwill.
Creating a shift in kindness is not designed to get you “off the hook” if you are engaging in behaviors that don’t serve you. It’s designed to help you look for place to be kind to remind yourself that you are on the right track, you are doing the best you can with the awareness you have in this moment. And things can evolve into better resolutions and opportunities with awareness and kindness to yourself first. And this can be shared with others.
As you move through out your days and you start judging or comparing, simply shift in your mind and your kindness. Remind yourself, that’s not your movie. Over time, by creating this small habit you will not only love the movie you are in. That you have created because you now live in the role that you are enough and have always be that way since your movie began. Namaste.