I work with several people a day. On some occasions, it’s a hundred. I love the opportunity to work, to play, to create and serve others. It juices me. I was designed for this. It is my purpose.
I don’t feel loving. Quite frankly, I feel the opposite. And I’m not even hormonaI at those times. I simply feel annoyed. I feel agitated and I feel impatient. And sometimes, I feel like kicking somebody in the butt. Sometimes I feel like kicking me in the butt.
And this is my absolute sure sign that I have run out of love.
This is not a deep-seated depression or road rage. It’s simply a day or so where I don’t feel loving. It happens to all of us. You know the feeling. Oh, yes, you do.
It’s the feeling when you can’t drag yourself to work anymore.
It’s the sensation when all of your co-workers drive you completely insane. (Even the so called “nice and normal ones”.)
It’s when everyone on the road is an idiot and the people at the stores are related to them.
It’s when you look in the mirror and roll your eyes. Or worse yet, you don’t even look in the mirror because why would you want to?
It’s when you don’t even look at TV or Facebook because it’s the same ole, same ole.
It’s when you fake smile at anyone but on the inside you’re scowling.
Even you family and pets annoy you.
Life sucks a little.
And here’s how you get that loving feeling back a little a time. The reason I say a little at time is because when you have run out of love, you don’t really have the time, energy, or motivation to climb a mountain, sky dive or meditate for several hours to “find yourself”. So do this instead…
Love Yourself A Little
Now, I’ll be the first one to say that even when I’m feeling okay, when I hear someone say the phrase “love yourself”, I want to hit them hard with a box of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies. But especially when I’m not feeling loving. And when you have run out of love, it’s really a challenge to carrying on a sweet affair with yourself when you are self-loathing. So just love yourself a little.
A little is doable. For me, loving myself a little would look like me taking a nap for a hour. I could love myself a little by being in my house by myself in silence, not answering the phone, a text, or being on social media. Loving myself could also be walking outside, taking a super hot bath or just sitting on the couch with a book.
When I take time to love myself a little, it helps take off the edge. I can feel my being soften, and it’s easier to see where I have not been taking care of my own needs. And I don’t need all day to discover this. And when I’ve taken the time for me, then I can go to the next step.
Love Someone Else A Pinch
You don’t have to be a people person to do this next step and that is why I like this one. When you have run out of love, it’s very difficult to be loving or even civil to others. But when you are intentionally kind to someone else, it pulls you out of your head and into the present moment. For example, at my kid’s school the elderly crossing guard didn’t show up on Friday. People were freaking out and demanding to know what happened. Who dropped the ball and who was going to pay for putting potential children in jeopardy? On Monday, when people got out of their anger mode and someone asked the crossing guard what happened, we found out he had to rush his wife to the emergency and she was still there.
In that moment, parents came out the woodwork to help this man with gift cards and offered potluck dinners. It softened everyone’s heart and by everyone loving this crossing guard a pinch, it was contagious and then turned into a lovefest.
Love Someone Outside Your Circle a Tiny Bit
After you loved yourself a little and loved someone else, it’s time to expand your influence and love outside your sphere. This can be a co-worker you don’t know well to a neighbor to a charity or organization that you believe in. And if you’re so depleated from running out of love and don’t know where you can go, peek at the Facebook page HONY. Every day the amazing humanitarian and photographer Brandon brings pictures and stories of others who have lived in conditions or experiences that our worst night mares couldn’t produce. And it’s humbling. You feel the gratitude and love for your own life, your own set of circumstances. By bearing witness to others who are in hard places, you compassion grows as well as the loving magnitude you can project.
By doing something kind for someone you know or don’t know, like open a door for a stranger at the grocery store, you sending a message to your higher self that good things can happen in the world and you can create them.
Creating awareness and knowing when you have run out of love is a vital starting point to generating happiness. Taking action to do something different and take care of your needs is the most loving thing you can do for yourself and the world.
The world loves you and says, “thank you.” I love you and say, “thank you”. Now, would you like a Samoa?
What is the smallest thing you can do for yourself or others? Now, do it.