Do you do this?
I go through a million thoughts a day. Okay, maybe not a million. Several thousand. For the most part, I try to keep tabs when my brain is running on automatic pilot, but sometimes my brain goes by default to doubt.
My doubt can manifest such thought as…
I don’t know if this dress is going to be flattering.
Is this a good time to text this person about a message I just received from their loved one who’s passed?
Are my kids getting enough one-on-one time?
Are my dogs getting enough time?
Does my rug stink or is it my dogs?
Is this pain a small one or a life threatening illness?
If the guage is on “red”, do I really have enough gas?
It’s annoying but somehow we still think it’s our friend.
In reality, it really just provides delayed fear. Doubt is a con artist, it makes us think it’s doing us a favor. But it’s not. It keeps us from fully living and moving forward toward the dreams and experiences we want in this lifetime. So, how do we deal with this damning doubt? Let’s try out these 3 steps.
Call Out the Doubt
The first step is to know when you it’s there. I’ve been around the block a time or two and I have created enough awareness to know when I’m worried or doubtful and I’m putting blocks in my way.
I used to be afraid to tell people the things I know because they would think I was a weirdo. I used to use words to dance around the issue. For example, if I had a dream and I saw that someone was making a giant move across country, I used to say something like “Oh, do you plan on staying around here?” Now, I just say, I see that your moving and I’m excited that you are going to North Carolina.” If they ask me how I know that I just tell them, “I have strong intuition and I saw it in a dream.” Sometimes I get funny looks, but then we get down to the business of discussing why this move is important to their life’s growth.
During holidays, my doubt can really fester. I lost my mother 12 years ago, on May 15th. My mom was a mother of six, PTA President, Peacemaker, Teacher, and was very connected to spirit.
This Mother’s Day, I felt many mothers of friends and coworkers who had passed. I needed to simply relay the messages that their mothers were with them and share the way their moms presented themselves to me. Twenty years ago, the old me would have doubted if I should tell them and if so, how. I worried that my message would make them feel worse because their moms had crossed.
Now, I just say, “I have a message for you. Are you open and want to hear it?”
That’s it. I’m simply the messenger. I don’t doubt it. I just do the work.
You too, know yourself well. When you hear those nagging thoughts of doubt, catch yourself and recognize that it’s only a thought. A figment of your imagination. You can empower that thought or you can get rid of it. If you want to get rid of it, then…
Check Out and Define the Doubt
Step in with the doubt and find out why are you creating it in the first place. Is it to feel safe, to be certain? Are you afraid you might fail? Again? Ask yourself and get down to your personal truth. BE FREAKING HONEST. “I’m doing this because it feels like temporary fake safeness. Or I’m too scared to try something anything new. But by bringing the truth to what you are doing and why you are doing it, you take away the teeth of doubt. Doubt shows up as a shadow. And once we shine some light on it, it disappears.
Clear Out the Doubt and Make Room for Bravery and Action.
If you create awareness when doubt appears, you can analyze why it’s there and begin to clear it out. But to truly clear out doubt you need to be brave and take action. If you want a new job that’s engaging to you then you must clear out the doubt that you are not talented, define the job you feel you want, and take one step to get closer to it. Research the job, update your resume, check who you know in your social circles.
If you want a relationship, you must clear out the doubt that you are unlovable and start taking steps of recognizing what you enjoy doing and create time for it so that you get out in the world and engage.
If you want financial security, you must clear the doubt that “you’re no good with money” and take action to create a savings account or research and create your own portfolio. Or track your spending.
Anything is possible when you get rid of doubt. So today of all days, create mindfulness and notice when and where you are casting doubt. Ask yourself why you are doing it and what you are gaining from doubting. Ask yourself if this doubt is helping or hurting your happiness.
Then start to take steps toward bravery and toward happiness and your best you in this present moment. This is your life now. It’s worth it. No doubt. Namaste.