My life’s obsession is to help people find their passion, their path, and their purpose. When I work with individuals, the first things we deal with together are any challenges or roadblocks that they have encountered. Some of the first questions that I ask are, “Do you like yourself?” If they say yes, then I continue and, “Do you love yourself?” More times than not, they respond either “No,” or “I don’t know how to love myself.”
When we were born, there wasn’t a class or a book on “How to Love Yourself 101”. You may have had role models or caretakers, but they didn’t teach you this. At best, you may have witnessed people along the way that appeared to love themselves too much and appeared narcissistic. And you grew to realize that you didn’t want to be that person either.
As we grow up and face our daily challenges or a significant life crisis, a common element is needed to meet, rise and face these moments. This element is self-love. Before the eye roll begins and the wink-wink starts with the phrase of “self-love,” here is how to move in the direction to all that which you desire to experience in this lifetime. Here are Four Self Love Lessons to Unchain your Heart.
Self Love Lesson #1: LISTEN TO YOUR FEELINGS
If you get along with others well, you have developed your intuition and skill of tuning into others’ emotions and energy and responding accordingly. By taking a moment to spend time alone and reflecting on what you feel at this moment, you are attentive to yourself. This is love.
During big holiday seasons, check in with yourself. Do you feel stressed? Do you feel alone? Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you worry that others will feel sorry for you? Are you worried that others will not think or love you? Do you feel like you’re not enough?
Self Love Lesson #2 PRACTICE NON-JUDGEMENT AND COMPASSION TO YOUR FEELINGS.
As human beings, we have feelings to help us navigate and protect us in our human experience. Our feelings are not right or wrong; they are simply just how our mind, body, and soul come together to make sense of this vast world and our experience in it. If you gave a baby or a puppy (if you’re not into screaming kids), a 1000 piece puzzle to solve and they got upset or chewed on it, would you yell at the toddler or kick the dog? For all practical purposes, let’s say, “NO.” If you wouldn’t do it to these two beings then why would you, do it to yourself? This may be new to you or maybe you don’t do it regularly because it feels strange. JUST DO IT.
When you are mindful and more patient and accepting of your feelings, your inner baby or inner puppy will feel the self-love.
Self Love Lesson #3 LISTEN TO THE INFORMATION AND TAKE ACTION
Feelings are information. Your sense of sadness, fear, and even love give you information. This understanding is only part of the puzzle. You must recognize this information and determine how you will use it. If you are feeling stressed because you are feeling lonely, remember this feeling. And then decide what action you can take to move in the direction of love. This could be a baby step. This could be a phone call, an email, or volunteering to help those around you. You may feel many feelings throughout the day, but if you don’t recognize them and don’t apply the information they are providing you in some form, you will continue to feel unsettled and overwhelmed.
Self Love Lesson# 4 CONNECT.
The ability to connect is one of our greatest gifts as well as sometimes our biggest challenge. This connection of love helps you strengthen your core and allows you to love others and allow love to come to you. This connection can come in many forms. You can connect with the Universal Source of Love, nature, animals, friends, and family. Make a connection with others a daily practice. It is also important to be mindful and know that who you surround yourself with is who you become so make sure you connect with only the things, people, animals, and spirit that bring you the most love. If you connect with others that are bitter, judgmental, or snarky, this is the poison that you are giving your heart on a daily basis. This is not love, and you are sending a message that love is not what you deserve.
These are just four of many lessons that can help you love yourself. When you do, the chains come off your heart, the shackles off your feet, the opportunities become abundant, and your personal path becomes enlightened. Now, love yourself. Namaste.