Getting Exactly What You Want: From Crappiness to Happiness

C'mon get happy. Kim Flores (c) 2015

C’mon get happy. Kim Flores (c) 2015

Money.

 

Freedom.

 

Love.

 

 

Out of these three, which one do you think you need the most? You don’t need to think about it much. You already know. Your intuition tells you. Your gut tells you. Listen to it.

 

Heck, as for me, I’d like to order up truckloads and boatloads of all 3. I could always use more money. Extra Spanx for me, an endless supply of Goldfish crackers and Cheerios for my kids, and cases of Prosecco for all my closest friends in Facebookland.

 

As far as freedom, to me it means time. Time to think. Time to create. Time to spend with the people that mean the most without worrying about all the things on my endless to do list.

 

As far as love, I can’t get enough of it.

 

Now, which one do you need the most?

 

All three did you say?

 

Boy, you’re greedy and needy like this mama. And I like it!

 

And I like you so much, I’m going to tell you HOW TO HAVE IT ALL.

 

Right now…

 

Just give away a CRAPLOAD of WHAT. YOU. WANT.

 

Oh snap. Let me loosen my Spanx and put down my bowl of Goldfish and explain.

 

The Universe is a vast and an amazing potential of energy. Like attracts like. If you think about the example of tithing, you give money, not because you feel guilty for all the not so nice things you’ve done in life, and want to pay for a less guilty conscious. Trust me, I’ve tried and es no bueno.

 

You tithe because you know that you are full of abundance in many forms and you can share without fear because you know there is more where that came from. You may say, “I don’t have enough for myself, how can I give money away?” If you don’t go to church, no judgement here, give to causes you believe in and want to make an impact.

 

Remember, money is simply a means for exchange. If you can’t give money, you can always give time. This too, is a valuable commodity.

 

And you may say, but I don’t have time… for X, Y, and Z.

 

I’ll just slowly count my Cheerios and ask you to consider the following …

 

How much time daily do you spend in front of the TV?

How much time do you spend on the web?

On social media?

Gaming?

Texting or talking?

 

10 minutes? 30 minutes? 3 hours… or more?

 

If you become mindful of your time about how long you are plugged in somewhere else, you can find pockets if not hours of time. When you look at the hard cold truth, you have lots of options to redirect your time. Don’t you?

 

I knew you did.

 

Now what can you do with that time?

You could spend more face-to- face time with the people you really care about, and for whom you would turn your phone off. (Yes, real commitment.)

 

You could volunteer in an assisted living home.

 

You could pick up trash around your neighborhood or the lake.

 

You could volunteer to read to kids.

 

You could donate to the folks Goodwill. (You know what your closet or garage looks like.)

 

Lastly when it comes to love. Give it away. Now, I’m not asking you to be Easy E. I’m saying spread you compassion to all that you encounter. If you are single, get out in the world. If you love working in a garden and are passionate about it, go spend time in a community garden. If pets are your passion, run, don’t walk, to find wagging tails at the SPCA or local animal shelter. If you know someone who is sick or battling a disease, make time for them and show them you love them. If you have elderly family or friends, don’t wait another day or in some cases another hour, love them now. There is no better time.

 

When you give what you seek something crazy happens. You get it back and then you want to do more. It’s a crazy good feeling. And you are doing something very important for your well-being. You are reprogramming your chattering mind, which is almost always on negative autopilot, that you are abundant, you have more than enough time, and you are loved deeply and truly.

 

Here’s where you gain momentum. You stop living in scarcity mode.

 

Opportunities open up. Miracles and coincidences make their presence known. Possibilities appear because you have faith in what you can’t see and open yourself to what is good in you and what is good in the world.

 

The Universe supports you in your walk from crappy to happy. So what do you truly want today? Give it and it’s yours. Today, I will give my money, time and love without fear. And I’ll raise a glass of Prosecco to you for wanting to be better and wanting a bigger life and say, “Cheerios and Namaste”. Now, get to giving…. you have everything to gain.

How to Freshen Your Impression or How to Target the World to Love You Even More.

Who loves you, baby? Kim Flores (c) 2015

Who loves you, baby? Kim Flores (c) 2015

Who loves you, baby?

 

If you come up with a list of a few people, that’s wonderful.

 

If you’re struggling to think of someone, maybe it’s not love that stinks.

 

 

Do you stink?

 

What kind of energy impression to do you create and leave?

 

Picture a scene. Let’s say at Target (it is my favorite store in the world). Well, even in the happy land of Target, we have all been stuck in a check out line that just…won’t… move. And then there is ALWAYS someone who just can’t…take…it. Anymore. If you are even slightly aware, you can tell the one person who is going to blow from their ramp up in negative energy.

 

They start off with the face. You know that face of twisted indignant “something stinks face”. Nostrils start flaring violently. You can hear their shallow breathing, their slap-tapping their feet, or fingers. Their beady little eyes scan the store with death rays for someone to yell at. No one makes eye contact and that’s the precise time when they have had all they can take they finally take. They screech at the top of their lungs, “This is BULLSH#T.” They stomp off, giving any poor store employee they run across another helping of their angst poo.

 

Whew and Pew.

 

When the undesirable finally leaves, most folks are relieved but an unpleasant energy stench still lingers. It’s ugly and uncomfortable. Later, if you pay attention to your own energy, you might notice you’ve carried that foul smelling energy into the rest of your day and to those you encounter.

 

So, here is your first hand guide on “How Not to Stink, or, Freshen your Impression”.

 

 

First, increase your awareness.

 

How do you think you come across?

 

If you were watching the movie of your life, how do you think you come across in daily situations? Are you patient? Are you aware of your surroundings and others when you first walk in? Do you make friendly small talk? If that makes you uncomfortable or feel creepy, do you at least smile or make eye contact with other human beings?

 

If you don’t want to make contact or don’t want others to interact to you, how do you think you look? What vibe are you giving off? Indifference, distrust, or apathy?

 

In a 2011 study given by UC Berkeley, researchers determined that most of us make our judgments of whether someone is trustworthy, kind, or compassionate in 20 seconds.

 

What’s 20 seconds like with you?

 

Do you like how people interact with you? If so, then that’s fabulous. Keep reading to help your family and friends freshen their impressions. If you don’t like how people interact with you or would love a better experience, then take the next step.

 

Enlist the help of your closest family or friends whose opinions you REALLY value and trust. If you act differently at work, you can also ask your co-workers when it comes to their impressions. Ask them how do you come across? You may be surprised.

 

You too, may be surprised at what you hear and discover. Listen with curiosity and compassion. Remember you can change your impression in a heartbeat of awareness if you don’t like what impression you are creating.

 

If you did hear something that you don’t like or want to change, then the next step will be pleasurable.

 

Visualize how you would like your presence to come across. Who do you admire? It could be anyone, famous or not, and you can model their actions or behavior. Now hear me, no one is asking you to become someone else. But they may have traits you can borrow, right?

 

Try it out and be mindful of how others interact with you. Do you notice a difference? Are they smiling? Are you smiling more? And how do you feel with this new presence?

 

Here is a short cut version to freshen your presence. Before you will be encountering some friends, your family, coworkers, or even strangers, simply announce to yourself in your mind or even out loud what is your intention.

 

And the next time you are standing in a mile long line in Target, think to yourself,
“My intention is to bring patience,” or “My intention is to bring gratitude.” The act of making this simple declaration will help create a patient or grateful state in you. You will emit that energy and others will naturally respond to you in kind. Others will be happy to have been around your impression, or the Eau de You. And so will you, because it will smell more delicious than the Popcorn and Icee machines. And your impression will have freshened the world more than you will ever know. Try it. I’ll be waiting for you by the Dollar Bin. Namaste.

 

How to Be Enough or How Ice Cream Can Save Your Life

Enough. You are enough. Kim Flores (c) 2015

Enough. You are enough. Kim Flores (c) 2015

In a very fragile state between living or not, a single scoop of ice cream saved my life.

 

My teenage years, when I was trying to fit in while also defining who I was as a person, became a very challenging time for me. First, there was my appearance to worry about. Was I pretty enough? Would people notice the giant zit under my bangs? Would people notice that my “Izod” wasn’t an alligator, but a dragon from Sears?

 

Then there were the academic and extra curricular pressures I put on myself. I strived to be a straight A student, a band student, a drama student, a member of several service organizations, and a feature baton twirler who threw knives and fire into the air and caught them on the way down.

 

As the pressure was building in me about being enough, I also began dating. It started off easy enough. He was perfect. And in my mind, I wasn’t. When he wanted to take the relationship further physically, I couldn’t and told him so. He was great about it and said we could still date and be a couple. What he didn’t say was that he was going to sleep with someone else at the same time.

 

Devastated and depressed, my inner voice began to yell, that I wasn’t enough. I thought I did all the right things. But I still wasn’t enough. I had enough of not being enough. I contemplated suicide. I was sixteen.

 

I had cut myself on one attempt and took pills on another. Both of them were unsuccessful. I felt like a loser who couldn’t even get this right. One night one of my best friends came to the door with a gianormous bouquet of flowers. He had known my journey. I smiled at the happy heap of flowers ready to receive them. He said, “This isn’t for you, this is for your mother.” My mother hugged him as only mothers can and told him to not keep me out too late. I was confused and pissed. Again, I wasn’t enough for even flowers.

 

I asked him where we were going and he said, “Would you like some ice cream?”

 

Ice cream?

 

Here I was in the throes of despair and a broken heart. Ice cream? I sat with that thought of ice cream. “Well, I guess I have enough time on earth to eat one more scoop of ice cream,” I thought to myself.

 

My friend escorted me to Reunion Tower, which was a towering revolving ball restaurant in Dallas. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t dressed for this la-la fancy place or I didn’t have make up. I was so excited to travel high enough in the sky to see the city of Dallas. Highways looked like ribbons, Cars looked like ants with sparkles. People looked like racing panicked dots.

 

And from the perspective of 561 feet in the air, my problems were nowhere to be seen. The shift began. My bowl of cinnamon vanilla ice cream was perfect. It melted in my mouth and melted down the hot feelings of unworthiness. In this moment, it was enough and I was enough. Laughing and smiling with my friend without saying really anything in particular, I was enough. And I remembered while finishing the last spoonful of ice cream that my mom risked and almost lost her life trying to have me, that I was really, really, enough.

 

Are you enough?

 

Many times we look at all the deficiencies in our life. We don’t look right. We are not at the right weight. Our bank accounts aren’t full enough. Our cars or home aren’t enough. After a while, even the people we love the most don’t seem enough through our damaged perspective of judgment and labeling.

 

So what to do?

 

Begin with where you are. Find the smallest thing that’s enough and you are grateful for. If you are at work, it may be your voice that you have the ability to “reach out and touch” someone that you care about who is close or far away. You are enough.

 

If you look at your hands, appreciate them. You can work with your hands. You can use them to eat, to hold, to wave, to pray, to embrace. You are enough.

 

Close your eyes and open them. See all that is around you. With your eyes, you can literally shift your perspective from giving someone the stink eye to “I see you with compassion and I’m here to help.” You are enough.

 

When you eat lunch, be mindful that you are eating and that not everyone gets 3 meals a day. Be thankful that you are putting fuel in your body to create more energy to manifest your actions, your dreams and ultimately your purpose in life to help others.

 

Do this as a daily practice. Find areas in your life in which you know you are enough and be mindful when you do and say them to yourself. Document these findings. Text them to yourself or write them down. As you begin to build your stock of value in yourself, the shift of consciousness will happen. As you begin to value all that you are the Universe will also respond in kind. People will respond to you. New and exciting opportunities will appear for you. The daily powerful sensations of gratitude and abundance will thrive in you. You will be more than enough, you will be love in its manifested form.

 

As an extra bonus, you will be given many opportunities to show others how they too, are enough in this lifetime. Ice cream may come your way. Sprinkles are optional. Namaste.

The Beautiful Benefits of Being a Basket Case

Embrace your basket case. Kim Flores (c) 2015

Embrace your basket case. Kim Flores (c) 2015

 

Hello, how are you doing? I’m feeling curious today.

Do you have more receipts than money?

Are you worried about getting old and eating cat food but are not worried enough to do something about it yet?

Are you running around endlessly 24/7 and are still bored?

Do you say yes, even if it makes you stress?

Do you eat crappy food with your crappy TV shows and then feel tired?

Do you feel angry or sad at the entire world and don’t know what to do next with your life?

Do you have an ache or pain but don’t want to go to the doctor yet?

Do you hate your job but hate for looking for another one?

Do you despise your mate but despise looking for another one?

Do you abhor car but abhor paying for another one?

Do you loathe your body but loathe eating right and working out?

Do you yearn to learn something new but are “not ready” yet?

Do you detest being alone but are tired of trying to look for someone?

Do you hang out with toxic friends because at least they “get” you?

Do you doubt yourself? All the time?

Do you desire to connect with a bigger source than yourself but not sure what that is or even if it exists?

Do you want your life to be different but it feels too big to figure it out?

 

Do you ever feel like a basket case?

 

In some aspects of your life? In all aspects of your life?

 

If you do, then that’s amazing!

 

You are so lucky. In fact, you are more abundant than you know. It is just that you haven’t become aware in this present moment of all the benefits of being a basket case.

 

Now, I can feel you all out there. You’re wondering what benefits could possibly come from feeling off your rocker, spinning out of control, and being just a plain ole hot mess? Perhaps I also sound like a basket case. And you know what? I’m okay with that. In fact, I’m down with that.

 

Here’s my Basket Case secret: You can reap all the benefits from being a basket case by rhyming

 

“Excuse me, rhyming?” you ask…

But what you really saying is…

 

What the Hello?!!

You sound like Jello…

This is making me pissed,

And less like mellow.

 

Okay, maybe not.

 

But humor me in this moment. Let me take you down the walk through Funkytown to get to Basketville.

 

First and foremost, if you are a basket case, you always have more ideas and options than you think. The reason we can’t see this is that we go in automatic pilot mode and become unconscious. We simply do what we know because there is a certainty that comes with it. It doesn’t matter sometimes if it’s good or bad for us. We are addicted to certainty to help us with the clouds of life’s uncertainties that settle around us all day long.

 

What can we do right now to embrace our inner/outer basket case? We can simply shift our awareness the tiniest bit about what it means to be a basket case. The rhyming will help you remember like “In It to Win It!” Ready? Here we go.

 

The Beautiful Benefits of a Basket Case

When you are a basket case:

1. You can STAY IN PLACE.

The first benefit for being a basket case is that you can stay in one place with no guilt. What this means is if you are always doing the same thing over and over again, you are doing it because on some level, it’s working for you. Really well.

 

For example, I really focus on what I’m eating during the day. But if I’ve had a long day and have to work into the night, I have been known to rob the candy jar to provide a few more minutes of productivity. Now, do I know it counts against all the dieting and exercise I managed to pull off? Yes. Do I know I’m going to bed with a belly of Gummy Bears? You betcha. Did it work for me in that moment? Deliciously, yes. Do I have another option/benefit from being a basket case? Yes.

 

2. You can DO AN ABOUT FACE.

 The second benefit about being a basket case is that you can always do an about face, when you are ready. This is when you are at the point of being really aware of why you are responsible for creating your life’s events and circumstances.

When you really, really, really get tired of what you are doing that is not working for you, it is wonderful moment. Own it. This is when we put on our big girl panties or big boy “manties”. In this moment of being done with your ole tired self, you can do an about face by accepting responsibility and taking mindful action in a new direction.

For me, my about face is I can decide to either stop eating a Gummy Bears’ belly or I could HAVE a Gummy Bear belly. And after being sliced open for two C-sections let’s just politely say that I naturally have Gummy Bear belly potential if I don’t mind what I put in my mouth. Oh, snap! That was my elastic waistband of awareness.

 

3. You can CREATE SOME BREATHING SPACE.

 The third benefit from being a basket case is that after your old ways have worked for a while, and after you are ready to do something different, you may get stuck trying to decide what that different thing/opportunity/person/ looks like. This is FANTASTIC. This is the shift in awareness and this allows your brain to start searching for the best options to bring you happiness or peace.

Back to my bears, at first, I knew I had to lay off the candy. But when I worked late, I knew something else was going to need replace it. I tried other bad choices and then I became still and asked myself “What do I really need in this moment”. My internal guidance was given the permission to be heard. I became aware that I wasn’t really that hungry, I was just tired. Really tired. So when I get worn down in the middle of a late night project, I take a mini-nap. This gives me the energy I need to return to my task, and also frees my mind to think more creatively.

 

4.You can RECEIVE THE GRACE.

 The fourth benefit you can receive from being a basket case is that when you have given yourself other options, you naturally begin to look at the other aspects of your life and find what else you need to do to take care of yourself. When you do so, the Universe answers in kind. When you decide not to short change yourself in any respect, coincidence, miracles, and serendipity begin to happen. It may feel like a Twilight Zone episode sometimes, but a really good episode.

 

5.You can EMBRACE THE HUMAN RACE.

 Finally, the last benefit about being a basket case is that you can make peace with yourself that you are doing the best you can in this moment. Now, hear me out. This does not give you a ticket to ride the victim train for life. In fact, no one is “doing” anything to you. The Universe isn’t cursing you. The Universe is complete with unlimited abundance, potential, and peace. You are simply doing what is working for you at this moment. No judgment is necessary. So be kind to yourself wherever you are. You are constantly learning and evolving here at Earth school. That’s why you are here. So use your basket to gather experiences instead of gathering up dread, shame, anger and sadness. Use your basket of experience and talents to help others who are in need of your wisdom.

So, the next time you are feeling like a basket case, know that you have many more options from our rhyme time to choose from when you are mindful and you are ready.

 

And remember to express your gratitude to the Universe by sharing with others what is in your basket. Preferably, not Gummy Bears. No judgment, only sticky love. Namaste.

The Poop: The Business of You

Wait no more. Kim Flores (c) 2015

Wait no more. Kim Flores (c) 2015

Are you wildly ambitious? Want to write a novel? Direct a movie? Illustrate a children’s book? How about sculpting, potting, blowing glass, or posting a weekly blog? Rock out in a post-punk metal band, or be the next American Idol?

 

Maybe you want to create your own business with a line of t-shirts, toys, or housewares, make a million bucks, and travel the world? Maybe you want to create a “For Purpose” organization that saves the whales, the children, the rainforest, the ocean, the atmosphere, or even displaced meerkats? Or do you want to promote peace and justice in your neighborhood, city, state, country, or the world?

 

Or maybe you just want to find a lover with whom you can gaze in each other’s eyes while you both carry on about how fabulous your life’s ambitions and dreams are.

 

Now, with all these amazing dreams swirling around like a tornado of imagined potentiality, take a moment to think of all the things we have NOT done, finished or “got around to” like…

 

-Paying your bills

-Knowing what your credit score is

-Filing your taxes

-Preparing your will

-Mowing the lawn

-Picking up the dog poop in the backyard (me)

-Washing your clothes

-Folding your clothes

-Putting your clothes in your drawers

-Exercising

-Eating better

-Going to the doctor for that much needed check up

-Cleaning your house

-Cleaning your garage

-Going back to school

-Finishing that book (either reading or writing)

-Finishing that memory or photo book

-Paying someone back in time or money

-Telling someone how you really feel.

-Making time for you loved one, your kids, your friends, your pets

-Making time for yourself: physically, emotionally, and spiritually

 

Now, if that list above made you cringe in the slightest bit, like I did, super. I’m cringing about the dog poop. Or if the list brought on full nausea for you, that’s amazing. We’re really getting somewhere. No, we are not going on the highway to hell; we are going down Business Street. The Business Street of Your Life. So, start reviving our engines.

 

In life, we may have these wonderful ideas and projects. And we may even have the gumption to get them started and launched. But after a few months, weeks, days or even a few hours, we may start to back off. Our efforts may taper off and we may start looking for something else new and exciting to fire up those dopamine hits in our head. While it is a common practice for people to quit projects they start, who wants to have a common life? Who wants to travel down the road of life with unfinished business, hopes, and dreams in the rearview and fear, regrets and anger gripping the wheel? Beep. Beep. Not me. Not you.

 

Think about it. At our job and in business, what would happen if we never finished anything or got anything done? Our butts would probably take a conference call with the street curb and a cute pink sheet of paper.

 

So, why would you do that with the Business of Your Life?

 

When we don’t complete something, whether big or small, we don’t get the benefit from the journey to completion. We don’t learn or grow from the experience or feel the amazing sense of self worth for completing something we started. This is not about judging the end product, it’s about how we’re robbing ourselves of the gift of creating and manifesting, which is our true purpose. And in so doing, we can reinforce the habitual patterns of not finishing what we start.

 

With unfinished business, we are always left in limbo, and feel depleted because it takes up mental bandwidth. Our time is being used up. Our lifeforce is being drained. We all know that time and energy are money, and in reality our currency in life, so we are in fact robbing from ourselves.

 

So what to do?

 

Clean up the sh%#.

 

I mean, clean up the dog poop in the yard. In fact, anything that is pulling on your energy right now in this very moment. Make the call. Schedule the appointment. Face your finances. Step on the scale. Put your jogging bra on. Meditate. Pray. Say, “Thank you.” Say, “I’m sorry,” (and mean it.). Forgive someone. Forgive yourself. There is no more time to be wasted.

 

If you’re not sure if you want to stick with something or someone, ask yourself these two questions:

 

If I don’t do it… how will I feel?

 

If I do finish it, how will I feel?

 

In my example of the dog poop, if I don’t clean it up, my kids or dogs will step on it and drag it with generosity into my house. Not great Feng Shui by the way.

 

If I do clean up the dog poop in the yard, and finish the laundry, my husband will love me more and I will feel like She-ra.

 

Okay, maybe that’s a no brainer…

 

But when it comes to important matters such as health, finances, and our close relationships, feel it out. Take action and take care of business. Even the smallest steps will make a difference and will continue to build momentum. If you’re stuck, enlist the help of others in your circle of friends, advisors, or tribe. Google. Do something new to help you keep going. This all will prime the pump of acting on the many daring things you want to do and create in this lifetime.

 

Now, get back to the Business of You with mindfulness, courage and love. Woof and Namaste from my backyard.

 

 

How to Be Bigger than the Trigger

Be Bigger than the Trigger. Always. Kim Flores (c) 2015

Be Bigger than the Trigger. Always. Kim Flores (c) 2015

Summer. The sun was beaming beautiful and brightly over the weekend. Clouds perfectly sculpted themselves into happy little faces. Even the birds appeared to have smiley beaks. I felt luxurious spending time with my little family at the local pool and here’s a glimpse what we enjoyed witnessed twenty minutes into our visit. Family Hell.

 

-A frustrated mother yelled at her tween kid and then slapped him on the cheek in public.

 

-A pissed dad became impatient waiting for his beer and when he received it, he barked about hating the taste and then threw it away in the trash.

 

-An older woman scolded 3 children who were all under the age of 7 for spitting water at each other at the water fountain and almost got her wet. (She was ten feet away from them and she was at the pool. Water happens.)

 

-A large father of two kept yelling at his smaller sons to “stop crying”. (Dear Sir, You can never win an argument with a 3 year old that is crying. Never. Ever.)

 

-A wife got psycho at her husband because he accidentally sprayed sunscreen in his kid’s eye.

 

-A dad marched back to his car because he had to go home and get his children’s life jackets. (The children could have floated without jackets, but that would meant they were dead.)

 

Did I mention this was summer time? Fun time? Making memories with the family sort of thing?

This was like a scene from a post-apocalyptic movie that took place at the neighborhood pool entitled Land of the Pissed and Tanned.

 

It could also be called the Land of the Trigger Damned.

 

To be fair, we all have triggers. A trigger is an experience than can come on physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually that takes us back to past experiences and digs up old negative feelings or old patterns. And the habitual pattern of unconsciously reacting to an uncomfortable or threatening situation leaves us feeling worse and over time wears us down to our souls. In spiritual terms, it’s a really crappy feeling. So, lets take deep breaths…

 

In practicing non-judgment and looking at any of triggered situations above, any of the people may have been simply reacting to something else. For example, perhaps the woman yelling at her husband for spraying sun screen in their child’s eye was truly concerned about her kid, but the intensity could have been triggered because she believes her husband doesn’t listen to her and that was setting her off.

 

And the man stomping away to get his children’s life jackets isn’t mad about trying to keeping his kids safe in the water, but feels embarrassed that he forgot. And he’s thinking everyone is judging him and thinking, “What kind of father would forget that?”

 

Our physical triggers also come into play because we are human. If we don’t get enough sleep, we are trigger-happy. If we are hot, dehydrated, depressed, on medication, in pain, or have allergies, this affects our loaded trigger potential. In the aftermath of the pulled trigger, many times we wished we had responded differently and that becomes ANOTHER trigger of guilt, shame, and anger. We begin to tell ourselves the never-ending stories of what happened to us or who or what caused it. Our self-righteous sense of being wronged only leads down one path. It’s a path of suffering. It’s a one-way path back to the Land of the Trigger Damned.

 

So how do we deal with something that is a part of our human nature? The first part is to understand that some of our triggers are normal. We do have amazing internal receptors to trigger us when we sense we are in danger. Think about the caveman days. If we didn’t have our triggers that Sabertooth tiger would have been chomping away on our sun-tanned butts. That’s nature.

 

But it wasn’t nature’s plan to use our triggers to allow us to play victim and get away with bad behavior. So again, how do we deal with our triggers?

 

We become bigger than the trigger.

 

Now, before your trigger goes off and you want to slap me with my words and bad poetry, please S.I.T. with me.

 

Here’s how you can be bigger than the trigger.

 

The first step is STEP S: Slow Down and Use Your Senses.

Many times there are things that can be precursors to triggers. For example, if you know you are going to a family event and will have to interact with your whacked out family members and this will trigger you to overeat, then be prepared. This means eating before the event, this means having a bottle of water in your hand when you are at the event. And be prepared by knowing how you are going to excuse yourself from the event when you are done. Slow down to feel your senses trying to give you information. You know when you are going into an uncomfortable situation because your stomach feels strange. Your body tightens. This is when you know something is coming because your senses are trying to alert and protect you.

 

The second step is STEP I: Intentionally Initiating the Pause and Using your Intuition.

 With the first step you may get that inkling that something is coming on. This step is more challenging because this is when something or someone sets you off and before you are even conscious of it, you have already pulled the trigger. To be bigger, you must be already primed and intentional that once that angry, itchy, negative stimulant is coming at you at a full force, you can recognize it. Then you need to pause and reflect about what you will do in this uncomfortable moment that is DIFFERENT from your usual negative reaction.

 

For example, if a customer, a friend, your lover or your boss begins to criticize something you did and your first response is to lash out, become defensive or stomp off, then do something different. You could excuse yourself politely from the situation. You could take a deep breath and sit in the discomfort of the situation but really try to place your attention on what the other person is saying or feeling. Doing anything different (that is social acceptable, mind you), will help lessen the trigger over time in the future.

 

If you’re not sure what you could do, think of a time where someone or something set you off and you weren’t happy with how you reacted. Ask your intuition what would have been a more constructive way for you to navigate this situation. Your intuition will provide an answer loudly and clearly if given quiet attention so you can hear it and more importantly act on it.

 

The final step is STEP T: Treat yourself with Loving-Kindness and Think of this as a Lifetime Practice.

 The final step is to treat yourself with Loving-Kindness. This practice that is familiar in the Buddhist practice, that by being kind and patient with yourself in this moment, you are reducing the suffering in yourself and you are also able to take that into the world and reduce the suffering in others. We all have things that set us off. Slowing down and being aware that things may come in our path and trigger us gives us a wonderful growth opportunity. We can pause and notice the exact moment when we could react to a trying situation, but choose to do something different. It isn’t easy, but deciding to S.I.T. allows us to become a truthful and loving version of who we are designed to be, instead of someone from Land of the Trigger Damned. Now, be bigger and go S.I.T. in the sun. Just don’t forget your sunscreen. Namaste.

How to Be Simply Irresistible to EVERYONE.

You're irresistible, baby! Kim Flores (c) 2015

You’re irresistible, baby! Kim Flores (c) 2015

Every morning we wake up and look in the mirror. We may or may not like what we see. How many times have we longed for other features to make us feel more beautiful or handsome or just plane “hot”.

 

Who doesn’t want to be adored by their children, admired by strangers, acknowledged by our bosses of our endless abundance of talent? And when it comes to our closest relationships with friends and family, doesn’t it feel fantastic to be greeted with the smile and love that comes from their soul and not just a quick glance up from Candy Crush? As for our significant others or potential suitors, nothing can replace the feeling of being the “only one in the Universe” at this moment. That is the feeling of being Irresistible. How can we be simply irresistible to everyone?

 

Here is the million-dollar answer.

 

Wait for it…. Wait for it… Wait for it… Seriously, WAIT. FOR. IT.

 

It’s patience.

 

WTF. I know. Before you start spewing “What the Friend?” Let’s entertain this idea and play.

Over the eons its taken mankind to evolve, patience has evolved as well and has received the reputation of the foulest thing you can think of much less have. It can even promote violence in others. Think of the last time someone said, “Be patient” and you didn’t want to punch them in the throat. I know, it’s really challenging to remember.

 

Here’s where my patience was residing the other day.

 

Summer just started and my two sons Magnus and Atticus were screaming and going back and forth out the back door. As an Intuitive/Sensitive personality, shrieking sounds and screams of bloody murder shred me to my core.

 

I remained patient for an eternity of 30 seconds. And then here is what happened.

Me, the kind mother – “Stay outside. Or I’ll lock the door.”

Magnus, my problem solver – “I’ll break the window and come in.”

Me, the loving mother – “I’ll call the police.”

Magnus, with enduring logic – “There isn’t any kid jail.”

Me, the mother of honesty and determination – “Yes, there is… it’s called Baby Jail.”

 

Baby Jail.

 

This is when the Universe shared its patience with me by kindly slapping and throat punching me into my present moment.

I’m threatening my six year old with Baby Jail. What happened there?

Patience was required. I was in the negative zone of impatience. It was pure ugly. Without patience, I was experiencing my own frustration that I created. No one else was required. I had succumbed to the immediate gratification that I receive when I go to drive-thrus, power-text, or order from Amazon Prime.

 

These are the daily habits that reinforce that fast is good. Things and people are disposable. Feelings are fleeting. Nothing lasts forever and nothing is worth it. Like love.

 

There had to be a better way. And there is…with patience. With this irresistible trait, you provide space for your own sense of peace and well-being. With patience, you can cultivate real relationships and go deeper than just an emoji or FB poke with all you come in contact with. You become less restless. You become more mindful and happy. Happy is attractive and sexy to everyone.

 

Patience works hand and hand with intuition. When you cultivate patience, you are able to hear and feel your intuition more. Think of patience as the pause button and intuition the menu to select your channel for living.

 

If you want to see how patience can make you instantly irresistible try these in your daily life.

 

BE FINE IN THE LINE

The next time you are in a line, instead of distracting yourself with your phone, look at the people around you. Do any of them look like someone you already know? Look at the people and smile at them. You never know what is going on in people’s life. Your simple smile may keep them going. Not that you should stare at people or creep them out with a goofy smile. But notice how your body and state is more relaxed and how people treat you with kindness.

 

TREAT WITH SWEET

Next, when you are on the phone with customer service and you’ve waited a very long time, notice your tone. Notice how you are tensing up. Relax those areas. Be kind to the person on the phone. Remember, who ever wanted to grow up and work at a phone bank and talk to cranky, disgruntled people every single day for hours? No one. Not even the babies in baby jail. So speak with them in a kind tone, and notice if you get better service though the connection you made with them.

 

THE LOOK OF LOVE

The next time you are with anyone who has importance in your life – family, friends, or your significant other – practice patience. Put your electronic devices away. Listen to them. Give them your undivided attention. Look into their eyeball sockets. You will make them feel like a million dollars and in return they will do the same for you. You are creating moments that can’t be rushed. You are creating moments that will not be deleted or dropped in a trash file but instead remembered at the end of our days.

 

Patience is a spiritual practice that can boost your power of intuition. Intuition is our gift to connect with our Universe and to each other at all times. This is how we become irresistible to others. Cultivate patience. It’s worth it. If you don’t believe me, then off to “Baby Jail” you go. Namaste.

Here it is! Ease on Down Your Path to Happiness.

It's right in front of you. Happiness. Kim Flores (c) 2012

It’s right in front of you. Happiness. Kim Flores (c) 2012

Happiness. Who wants it? We all do. What does it look like? In the world of social media, it can take on all forms like: Steak on the grill. A new book. Kittens playing in boxes. Graduation. Minions. A wedding. A divorce. A new mate. A new car. A margarita. Farmville. Vacation. A million dollars in donations. A million dollars from Publisher’s Clearing House. Chubby babies. Chubby puppies. Anything chubby… well, almost.

 

The great thing about happiness is that we can access it anytime we want to. To be more specific, we can access it anytime we are intentional and choose to. But here is the fork in the road, sometimes it easier to be unhappy. We know this state of being. It’s not a great feeling but it’s a familiar one. We have certainty with it. The real truth is sometimes we are afraid to be happy. We are afraid to be judged. We are afraid if we are happy something terrible is going to happen to balance out the universe, because deep down we don’t think we deserve it.

 

So, let’s play pretend.

 

Think of someone you know or have seen recently that was utterly happy. Did you Judge Judy them? Did you secretly think thoughts such as…

 

Boy, he’s an idiot.

She must be on meds.

He must be off his meds.

Of course, she’s happy. She doesn’t have to work.

He’s happy because he never gets caught.

They are young, stupid, and have no responsibilities.

They don’t care about anyone accept themselves.

Yeah, but just wait until they…

Selfish.

 

As an imperfect human being, I have had these thoughts and spent non-productive days with them. We all do at one time or another. These thoughts come from a place of scarcity and fear. And when we chose to engage in the negativity of what we perceive as someone else’s happiness, we unconsciously block the path to our own happiness. In addition, if we do this as a daily defense mechanism, we reinforce our patterns and start to speed down the one-way road to Suckville. Who wants this? No one. Not chubby babies or puppies. So what to do?

 

Let’s map it out.

 

The first step is to not judge other’s happiness. Start with not rolling you eyes over the previous statement. Truly, we will never know the depths of a person’s life, much less their soul’s journey. No one’s life is ever easy. No one. We all have our inner and our outer demons to battle.

 

For example, it’s funny because when I was in high school, people thought my life was easy. I did well in school. I was a baton twirler and I wore rhinestones. I had friends, I had a boyfriend and I was Senior Class Favorite. What people didn’t know was I lived in a chaotic horderesque household. My father drank to ease stress. There were six kids and there were times where the money wouldn’t last for food and utilities.

 

Also at that time, I didn’t know what to do with my strong intuitive feelings, and sometimes I would have glimpses of unhappy future events to come and had no control over. So, I became a cutter. Who wants to ease down that road of happiness? “Pick me,” said no chubby baby ever.

 

Back to our path. The second step to ease down the road to happiness is to be easily pleased. This doesn’t mean to pretend that the challenges and hardships we face in life do not exist. It means as things come our way, we can develop a sense of gratitude for the smallest things and not take anything for granted. If you hate your car, take public transportation at 5AM in the morning of a thunderstorm. You will have a new appreciation for your old clunker. Hate your apartment or home? Sleep on a bench or sidewalk during a sticky summer night while mosquitoes feast on your blood. You will return to love your cracker box of a residence. Hate your body? Spend a day in the hospice side of a hospital. In a heartbeat, namely yours, you will learn to love all the bumps and lumps of you.

 

Once you intend to begin your day to mindfully appreciate all that you are and have, your entire being will feel lighter. You will resonate in happiness. This will act as attraction, and good things will come your way. You will smile more. Happiness is your birthright as a human being in this Universe. Every moment is an opportunity for intentional and potential happiness. Who wouldn’t want to travel this path? It opens up right before you.

 

And yes, some people may judge you because they aren’t used to your new ways – be kind to them. They have yet to walk down the road that you are on. In time, with non-judgement and gratitude, they will also be able to join you in your happy journey through life. Remember to watch out for the chubby puppies. Namaste.

How to Feng Shui Your Peeps.

Clean up. Everywhere. Everyone. Kim Flores (c) 2015

Clean up. Everywhere. Everyone. Kim Flores (c) 2015

Springtime. It is that time of year when we are itching to Feng Shui our house, spring clean our closets, and get the weeds out of our gardens. Why stop there?

 

Think of the people you encounter every single day. Think of their energy. When you think of particular friends, coworkers, family or lovers, do you smile or secretly cringe? If you do the latter, then it’s probably time to Feng Shui your peeps. You will generally find that those whom you need to unclutter from your life fall into three main catagories:

 

The Downer

The Toxic Terror

The Timeless One

 

Does any of these feel familiar?

 

The Downer/Victim is the one who comes in your space and nothing is ever right. They lost their job. They are sick. They have no friends and they will tell you. They have no money. They have no self-esteem. Nothing ever works out for them. The downer has nothing to offer you and they simply want your attention all the time. They feel that if they don’t have a sad story (the sadder the better), then they have no significance. The upside for them is that if they can find a sap to listen to their story, then they get attention, sympathy, and significance. And if you hang around long enough you leave lower than you were when you first encountered them.

 

Next on the list is the Toxic Terror. They are similar the Downer, except they use injustice and rage in order to feel important. They are the ones who will tell you that they got “screwed” or how the world is “screwed up” or that there is “no justice”. They look for the bad in a situation so they can happily say, “I told you so,” or, “I knew it would happen.” They piss in your cornflakes. They mock your joy. They are afraid to be happy because they don’t want to appear weak, plus, it takes away from their identity and their certainty of being righteously wrong. Hang around them long enough and watch your cortisol levels rise and your cornflakes wither.

 

Third, we have the Timeless One. You know this one. The one that says they will call and doesn’t. The one that says they will show up and doesn’t. The one who constantly forgets. They apologize profusely only to forget again at the next opportunity. The good news is they won’t pee in your cornflakes because they are the flakes.

 

So how do you Feng Shui these people from your life, or at least your breathing space?

 

You don’t have to chase these folks with a broom or a Dyson, although if you could, it would be a much quicker process. But if you have people that constantly lie, steal, or abuse you in any way, then it is imperative that you remove yourself from this type of energy, or at the very least minimize your exposure until you can.

 

The first step is to identify them. Easy. You know who they are.

 

Next, you truly have to clean up your own energy. Become mindful and practice self care, taking action on what will serve you best. Is their energy helping or hurting?

 

If you determine that they are bringing toxicity to your life, then decide to release them. When you “decide,” which means to “cut off,” you are consciously making the decision to control your energy field and exist in a space that supports, nurtures, and brings you joy. The optimal word is joy.

 

When you are in joy, you resonate a higher vibrational energy. The Downer and the Terror don’t know what to do with that energy because it’s not aligned with them, and as a result your resilience makes them feel uncomfortable. It will be a challenge for them to stay with you. As for the Timeless One, you can simply chose to let them run on their own time and not yours. And this allows you to go on your joyous way.

 

Why should you even give a Feng Shui about the people around you and their energy? The answer is simple.

 

If you look at our time on Earth, every day counts. There isn’t a day to squander away in a dirty space with people that pollute your life. Living in Joy is your birthright as a human being in this amazing Universe. Elevate your energy and Feng Shui the people that don’t contribute to your life. And when you set them, and yourself, free, you can finally enjoy fresh air and fresh cornflakes. Namaste.

Words of Wealth

Just say, "YES". Kim Flores (c) 2015

Just say, “YES”. Kim Flores (c) 2015

We live in a quick paced world of one-liners, sound bites, hearsay, snarky comments and LOL acronyms. How do these things affect our relationship with each other, the universe and our abundance? And how about ourselves?

 

As I begin to work on today’s blog, I clicked on my site and up popped a weight loss ad instead. I refreshed my page to see if I was imagining things. I am reducing my caloric intake for my health, so hallucinations are possible. Reality mocked me. There was that freaky, hacky ad again.

 

Wishing I could maintain my Oprah-Chopra vibration in a heated techie-moment, I was intentional and SIMPLY. CHOSE. NOT. TO.

 

I decided to react to the Universe with a word.

 

“Poop.”

 

But I didn’t say poop.

 

It took a moment to shake the fertilizer off my mindfulness boots. I wasn’t in any grave danger. I had people to call and help me in a nano-second. And just like that they did, and everything was back to normal and even better. My site was backed up and improved. “Why did the stench have to linger?” I wondered.

 

How many times have you been forced to face change and you classified and doomed it and your universe before taking the next breath?

 

I noticed that when I was tense, my words became harsh to those around me, especially to those I love the most. I observed that I was holding my breath. I felt stifled in that moment. My eyes hardened and so did my point of view. I could see only that rogue webpage that had pooped on my life. In the stink of it all, I reflected:

 

How often do we take a situation and keep focusing on how it messes up our life?

 

How quickly do you react to pictures or words on the Internet or Facebook?

 

How quickly do you react to words of others?

 

More importantly, how can you stop it, redirect it, or at the very least, minimize its stink on us? I kept hearing the words repeated over and over “words, words, words”.

 

Then it came to me as naturally as gas.

 

Our words create our intention.

 

Our words create our actions or reactions.

 

Our words create our patterns and our possibilities.

 

So, if we can change our words, we can change our possibilities and the wealth of our wellbeing.

 

Here’s how to chose your Words of Wealth to overpower the stench of stress:

 

Step 1. Ask

Ask yourself, “Am I in danger?” If you are, get immediate help. If you aren’t and it’s more mental in nature, remind yourself that you are safe and protected in this moment. Now, it may feel strange at first, but the act of doing this will help calm your body and breathing. You can make better decisions in this moment and take better actions in this state.

 

Step 2. Believe

Ask, “What is the perfect outcome that would help me in this moment?” Many times people will become rattled because they know where or what they don’t want in their lives, but they have NO IDEA what they really want. Create the intention, the action, and the possibility. Fill in the blank. “My intention is to ______________________ and to take action by _________________ to create the possibility of _____________________________.” Great. Keep going.

 

Step 3. Consider, Change and Create Consistently

Be mindful of the words and phrases you use everyday. Are they helping you or hurting you? Are they creating chaos or calm? Even sarcastic words are words wrapped in humor to disguise fear. What words would you be willing to change? Change them.

 

If you can’t handle it or think you need to go back to your old sarcastic self, you can. But isn’t worth a try to go 24 hours and speak with peace and intention? Now imagine you doing that every single day. How do you visualize your life now?

 

We are simply walking words and intentions. Become your own dictionary and define what you intend to bring to your life. If you don’t, you unconsciously let life define you and that can truly stink.

Peace to you. Namaste.